Because it’s sunday !
I gonna tell you my most favorite joke; such a sweet and smooth little joke.
I heard it first some 15 years ago sitting in a small boat in the South-China Sea in the Philippines, Northern Palawan, near El Nido, heading out for another beautiful day in – ACTUAL – paradise, Snorkeling, Shark-Watching, outdoor barbecue and simply enjoying Life and ourselves, while “Karaoking” some old classics over the sound of the waves from our Philippino Boatsman, “Bamboo” , a man of chinese-philippino decent – as many of the people there – with a cunning sense for business (Chinese !!!, I ve said it, right ?) , a sweet heart, funny mind and an even sweeter family.
So, he started – and please, remember, it’s a JOKE !!!!!
No more no les – just a joke ; so please don t be triggered !
So, he started with the story of a Muslim, Christian and a Buddhist arguing over who’s God/Religion/Realisation is best.
They said all kinds of things and tried all possible ways of proving that each one’s would be superior than the others’.
As they could not reach any agreement, they came up with the idea of bringing it to an ultimate test:
They decided to jump down a nearby cliff while each one would pray to his “Most High” and then they would see which “God” would be the most powerful by saving the correct (religion-) one and making sure that the chosen disciple would not get hurt by the falling down from 100 meters !
So said, so done ; they went on to proceed.
“I go first!”
Shouted the Muslim and pushed the others aside; as always eager to show off his strengh of faith the credibility of his self-proclaimed superiority in belief he insisted to go first, for “his god is the greatest and thus it s only normal that he, the Muslim, goes first”.
He prayed, he prayed to Allah and praised his messenger, ali his son-in-law and all the Imams and Kalifs and whatnot. Praised allah and gave glory, got louder and then he jumped !
Flying down, shouting even louder: “Allah U akbar, God is the greatest and Mohammed is his only prophet…..allaallllllllllaaaaaall !”
Smashed on the ground – dead !
Next comes the Buddhist – always moderate, always balanced, always smiling , always in the middle , so he thought it to be appropriate to go as second.
He sat down in the Lotus seat, smiled with a big fat grin, mumbled some ancient deep-throating verses, smiled even brighter and flopped over the edge . sailing down, still smiling and chanting:
“Buddha, Buddha, Buddha,Budha,Bud-dha, Buu–d–d—haaaaa,Buu-uuuu-dd—-d—-ha–a-aaaaa, Buddha !”
….and very smooth and soft he touched down on the ground, still smiling, still calm as shit as if nothing ever has happened.
Well, now, it was the christians turn. As you might think, he was a little nervous having wittnessed one death-splatter and one miracle-landing but “a bet is a bet, right”, so he went further to the edge, started calling upon his Lord and Master Jesus, praying to the Father in Heaven and Mother Mary and spinning his prayer-pearls faster and faster in his hands.
“Jesus, oh, come and save me, my life is in your hands, I m your humble sinner, worthless nothingness that only your majesty can savior- come and savior me , although I don t deserve it , because I m such a sinner !!!”
The sweat was pouring out in streams all over his body but he clinched his teeth in desperation and …..jumped !
“Holy father in heaven, saaaaaave meeeee !”
He shouted and fell with an incredible speed downhill ! He started shouting louder and louder and in a higher and higher pitch ! JJJEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIzuz!- SAAAAAAAAAAAVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE- holy father come and forgive me my sins – although I m soooooo worthless to your attention but plleeeeeeeeeeeease !”
He was falling and falling and then almost when he touched the stones on the ground with one last effort, he screamed:
“Jeus,Jesus,Jesuuuuuuuuu – Buddha, Buddha, Buddha,Budha,Bud-dha, Buu–d–d—haaaaa,Buu-uuuu-dd—-d—-ha–a-aaaaa, Buddha !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
….and very softly he touched down on the ground !
END of THE Story
PS: Such a sweet joke ; I love it….oh, and NOPE, in case you were wondering:
No, I m not a Buddhist. That s not the explanation and meaning of this joke. If one is interpreting it like that – bashing one religion sanctifying the other – well, that s the SIMPLETON explanation; for the uni-dimensional, flat-brainers who can t comprehend that there are things in life – in fact almost ALL of what is good in life – that go far beyond black & white judgement.
You see, I have NOTHING to do with none of any of the currently known religions on earth ; although I do agree with what many people say:: ‘They are all the same!’ ….well, indeed, yes, they are all the same WRONGHEADED and FALSE and HALF-TRUE sinister and slavery-inducing fairy-tales revolving and invented by non-benevolent entities with the purpose of invading , controlling and parasitically occupying mankind and mankind’s destiny and role in the Living Cosmos.